Love Destroys Everything
Today, my oldest son turns 8. In a blink of an eye my tiny infant has become a strong-willed, life-affirming, enthusiastic, smart boy. 8 years ago, we never could’ve imagined what life would look like now. Three boys later, it’s full of chaos, legos, matchbox cars out-the-wazoo, and so much love.
On the car ride to school, I did what I do every year and tell Ethan about that blessed day. Letting him know that we had no idea what was coming! He chimed in telling me how great life was until 4 years ago when “OWEN” was born. I quickly cut him off. He’s heard his daddy say something similar about the birth of his twin sisters. (If you ever want to see Josh act dramatically, just ask him about their birth! —hilarious) Ethan went on, exclaiming that “Owen destroys everything! All of my lego sets get destroyed! BY OWEN!”
Then, I realized. He’s so right. Whether we expect it or not, everything gets destroyed. No matter how much preparation we do, nothing can set us up for what will come. When we let love in, we are opening up our world to an experience that is new, unpredictable and never the same. Our worlds are just like the lego sets. We meticulously craft them —either “by the book” or our own design — paying attention to every little detail to make sure it’s how we want it, then, often without warning, someone we love comes along and wrecks it. Brick-by-brick, piece-by-piece, shifted, rearranged, built up or torn down. This leaves us with a choice. Do we respond with resistance or do we accept the change and rebuild our worlds with grace, acceptance and love?
I can tell you, my world has been destroyed over and over again — 3 boys, 3 personalities, and 3 hearts full of joy — they have wrecked me. I thank God for that. If I kept building the way I had planned, the walls that were around me would be built to fulfill selfish desires, but God knew. He always does.
It’ll take Ethan some time to realize that having his (lego) sets destroyed were all part of a bigger plan. Though extremely aggravating, I know, rebuilding them brings a new opportunity to do something different, to experience something greater and to figure out a way to live with and love the destroyer, Owen. Love destroys everything, but love also rebuilds better than we ever could alone.